Sounding Stupid with Long Words

‘Why d’you talk like that?’

It’s an odd thing to be asked, but it wasn’t the first time, so I replied, shouting a little over the pub’s music.

‘That’s just the way I speak.’

His eyes screw up like I’m being deliberately difficult.

‘Nah, why’d you have to use all those long words? It makes you sound stupid.’

For the record, I actually sounded fairly coherent. I was commenting on a Pavlovian reaction I have when I encounter the smell of piss. I find, especially when in enclosed spaces, that the smell will transport me, faster than a Proustian Madeleine, to the Paris Metro, which reeks of urine. I called it the Paris Micturo while I was there.

However, that wasn’t the point he was making. He actually did, in fact, sound pretty stupid. For one thing, he was pissed out of his gourd, however his question was actually a valid one:

‘Why do you choose to use the sort of language you do, when it makes you sound like a dick to the rest of us?’ I am paraphrasing for him of course, he wasn’t managing to explain his own point very clearly at the time.

Despite suffering from verbal diarrhea, I honestly don’t like the sound of my own voice and, as such I am sure that I must quite often sound like a dick to others. Even more so if you aren’t a fan of somewhat over-elaborate wordplay as I am. The way I talk is slightly pretentious, although I doubt that my voice and accent can help much either.

However, my being able to read-between-the-lines of his semi-coherent babble is kind of my point. I like the interaction and power of words, to entertain, persuade and surprise.

I talk in the manner I do in order to better communicate with others. As such, in that regard, I absolutely do accept his point; that how I spoke alienated my audience. However, for all his tactlessness and bitching about my delivery, my critic did understand what I was talking about. He just didn’t like my choice of words or the way I said them.

In which case, stuff him. I try to speak the way I write, so that I maintain one consistent voice. By finding this unifying voice it should then be possible to temper or adapt it to more effectively communicate with different audiences.

I know that people like to say ‘you should just be yourself’ but that’s rubbish. Your ‘self’ is an ever-developing concept, or at least, it should be. We build upon it with each new experience, every contributing realisation. If you are the recipient of scorn and derision for the way you are acting, but you realise that you deserved that treatment – perhaps you were being a prick – then you should absolutely change that behaviour. You should consider the criticism and your perspective, then change yourself, in order to better get your point across. Unless you enjoy being a prick of course, in which case, keep at it.

This may all sound pretty stupid, I do realise. And yes, possibly, a bit pretentious.

But fuck you, that’s me, no matter how right you may be.